Back before I had my children, and I used to dream about being a mom to a little girl. Someone to share girl things with like girl-talk, shopping, clothes, jewelry, and just overall mom-and-daughter bonding. I’m a super girly girl, and that’s really all I could ever relate to.
Fast forward a few years and here I am, a “boy mom” – the mom of two amazing little boys. I am thankful and happy, but sometimes it doesn’t come naturally to be a parent of the opposite sex human. I’m the only female in our home, even the dogs are boys!
You know what? Being a boy mom is actually pretty awesome! We may not be able to bond over cute shoes, but there’s a lot to love about being a mom of males. There’s also a lot of weird stuff, too.
Here’s What I Know About Being a Boy Mom:
1. Your Home Will Be a Parking Lot – My living room looks like a parking lot for every type of vehicle that you can imagine. It seems so stereotypical but honestly my boys love (or rather, they’re obsessed with) their trucks, cars, firetrucks, motorcycles…if it moves and makes some roaring thunderous noise, or has an ear-piercing siren that makes you want to buy ear plugs then they must have it!
See photo below from a recent trip to Toys R Us:
2. Your Home Will Be a Mess – Besides 10 million toys all over the place, boys will also make your house look like a pack of wolves lives there. You can clean morning, noon, and night, and it still wouldn’t matter. They will ransack that place faster than you can imagine.
We had company over this weekend. I had cleaned for hours to prepare for the company, and we had a great time. Well, the next morning, we had an unexpected knock at the door, and I let the visitor in. A few minutes later I hear her in the kitchen saying “Wow, wow, wow. Do you need help?” I mean, I thought my house was actually pretty clean. To an outsider, someone without little boys living in their home, it dawned on me that NOPE, by other people’s standards my house was still a mess. As a side note – unless you’re actually offering to clean the mess, keep your comments to yourself when you’re in a home with toddler residents!
3. Boys Play Rough – Being the serious worry wort that I am, I used to tend slightly be a helicopter mom when my first son was born. I kind of got over that whole hovering 10 inches above my kid thing when I realized that boys just play much differently than most girls.
My couch is no longer a couch. It’s a launching pad. They’ll set up an obstacle course of pillows, ottomans, and anything they can get their hands on to climb up and down the furniture and fly through the air. They wrestle (hey, as long as it’s on a carpeted area and not the tile floor, then I can’t really complain I guess?!) They eat dog food. They run around outside until they’re dripping with sweat and dirt.
(This pic below is a fun game they like the call “jumping off of whatever we can find” – in this case it was their step stools that they dragged into the kitchen from the bathroom.)
4. Be Prepared To Grocery Shop Multiple Times Per Week – No, really. No matter how much food I buy, it seems like the boys will eat it all. Then, want more. Between my boys and my husband I cannot keep up with the growing demands of their bellies. Sometimes I wonder if they have a hollow leg that they’re storing all of the food in, because they literally eat more than I do. Lord help me when they are teenagers. Forget a college savings fund, I’m going to need a Food Savings Fund to be able to pay for their grocery bills!
5. There’s No Shame In Their Game – I’ve realized that at pretty much every age, boys love their penises. They want to know how it works, then once they have that figured out, they want to make sure it’s still there rather frequently. Once they know it won’t fall off, they then want to play with it, and play with it….and play with it some more. They’re not ashamed one bit about it either!
6. Boys Are Gross – Besides playing in the dirt and with bugs, they also kind of like boogers. Picking them, telling you about them. Even showing them to you.
Beyond that, boys also have a gross sense of humor. They will joke about their bodily functions, and body parts. Farts? Toots? No matter what you call them in your house, boys are sure to find them HILARIOUS. No joke, I was getting the boys in the bath a few weeks ago and my older son told me, “Mommy, my pee pee wants to go play the piano.” Ummmmmmm…SAY WHAT?! I almost died. I didn’t know if I should laugh, cry, or go along with it. He started busting out hysterically laughing and thought it was the funniest thing ever.
7. Boys LOVE their mamas – No matter how dirty, gross, or outrageous boys can be, they all have one thing in common, and that is that they are mamas boys! The hugs and kisses are endless, and totally sweet. In between yelling “NO, don’t do that.” countless times per day, they never fail to make my heart melt like a million times a day. Yesterday my son grabbed my face and said “Mommy, your hair is so pretty today.” I mean, it doesn’t get much better than that ladies and gents!
I’ve teamed up with Jennifer from Study at Home Mama to write a monthly Girl Talk/Boy Talk series. My post is of course, the boy perspective, and Jennifer is a mama of a little girl who is sharing some awesome Mom and Daughter Dates for Every Budget over on her blog.